Crazy
by Carrie6
Summary: Post Getaway...just something that i needed to happen...S/V...please read and review


TITLE: Crazy  
  
AUTHOR: Carrie  
  
NOTE: Just something that I want to happen.I'm so delusional. I'm procrastinating and I just was being hopeful.please read and review.be kind, its sappy and probably totally out of character, but I'm so sick of studying that I needed something good.  
  
"We need to stay together." Those had been his words and I couldn't agree more. I know that I couldn't do this without him. If he had been replaced as my handler, I don't know what I would have done. I need him. Not just to do his job, but to go beyond the job, like he's done so many times. I need a handler who will break the rules for me, who will come see me when I call him at four in the morning, who would take care of me, despite the fact that my mother murdered his father. He does all this for me and more.  
  
When the owner of the restaurant in France offered us that key, I wanted to take it. I know he did too, he made that pretty clear. I couldn't believe he was being so forward about it, that seemed so un-Vaughn. I know he knew I wanted to go, but wouldn't say anything. I know he can read my mind sometimes, as I can his. I don't know what we would have done if we had gone up to that room, after all, he still technically has a girlfriend, and I know he's not the cheating type. Well, I think he's not. I can't believe that I actually yelled at him for telling me about Alice. That was something I wanted to keep inside forever. He could see right through me. He knew I wasn't mad about my Dad or Alice, well I was, but he saw deeper than that. I was upset because I thought I was losing him. He was keeping too many things from me, while I kept nothing from him. It scared me that he had someone else in his life who may take precedent over me.  
  
I want to be his first priority. Is that selfish to say? Of course it is, but its how I feel. Does he know what he does to me? Probably not. We've been having more and more of those moments lately where we have nothing left to say, and our eyes just lock. In that moment, it's like his eyes are willing me to confess, or kiss him, or both. I know that I can't act on it, but I want to, so badly. Would it really be that bad? I mean, we see each other anyway. I'm being irrational.  
  
I shake myself out of my thoughts and glance down at my watch. He's late. He's never late. I feel my heart drop into my stomach as I think that something happened to him. I need to relax, and just wait. He'll be here. He has to be.  
  
After what seems like hours, I hear the warehouse door slide open. I immediately jump to my feet, listening to his footsteps. I know its him, I can tell by his footsteps. But something is different about them today, they're slower, almost dragging. He comes into view and I can see his face as he opens the gate to our little cage. He looks awful. I mean, he is still the most attractive man I've ever seen, but today, he just looks defeated. He won't meet my eyes, and he just says "Hey," as he walks over to the table to put his briefcase down.  
  
"Hey." I reply. "What's wrong?" I ask, not being able to help myself.  
  
He shakes his head and smiles a bit, still looking down. "Nothing." He replies.  
  
"Are you sure?" I ask, I know something is wrong, and I almost need to know what it is.  
  
"Yeah." He replies, straightening, and finally working up the courage to look me in the eyes. "I got your dead drop." He says, all business. "India." He says. I can tell that he's not all there.  
  
"Yeah. Slone wants plans for new, top-of-the-line weapons." I reply, trying to make this easier for him.  
  
"Okay, all we want are copies of whatever you give SD-6. Take this," he says, handing me a small camera that I've seen before, "And just take pictures of whatever you give to them." He finishes.  
  
"You don't want me to make a switch?" I ask.  
  
"No, we don't want to take that risk. Sloane's been acting suspiciously and we don't want to give him any grounds to suspect you more than he already does." He replies. I nod. We don't have anything left to say, and I can feel another one of those moments sneaking up on us. Before it does, Vaughn looks away, down at his feet. I guess he could feel it coming too.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay? You don't look so good." I tell him.  
  
He shakes his head and laughs a little. "Thanks." He says.  
  
"No, that's not what I meant. It's just that-" He cuts me off.  
  
"I know." He says. Of course he does. He looks down and I can tell that he's in some sort of inner turmoil.  
  
I take a step towards him and put a hand on his arm. "Vaughn, you can talk to me." I tell him. His head whips up. He looks at me, and then my hand, and then at me again.  
  
"I talked to Alice." He says quickly. His words sting, and I remove my hand immediately. I wasn't really expecting that. He looks down at his arm where my hand had been. It's almost like he misses it.  
  
"Oh." I say. I don't really know what he meant by his words, and I don't really know what to say. The only thing that I've said concerning Alice is 'She seems nice.' But I don't think that's appropriate now and I can't say it again. I can feel myself start to fidget. I look down at me feet, and then at my shirt, which I pick an imaginary piece of lint from. He doesn't say anything, so I guess it my turn again. "What did you talk about?" I ask, not really wanting to know.  
  
"I told her that I thought we had different ideas about where we were going." He says, as if that explains everything. I don't say anything, and he continues. "She was under the impression that we were back together, as a couple." He says. I can feel his eyes on me, willing me to look at him. I comply with their request.  
  
"You're not?" I ask, confused. Alice introduced herself as his girlfriend.  
  
"I didn't think that we were." He says.  
  
"Oh." Is all that I can get out. I look down at my feet again.  
  
"I thought that we were just becoming friends. By the end of our relationship, that all we were anyway. It then became apparent that she thought we were more than that." He pauses, looking for a reaction from me. I can't give him one yet. I have to see what he has to say. "When I told her that I didn't think it was a good idea for us to be together, she asked me if there was someone else." He pauses again, and I look at him. He knows I'm not going to speak, so he continues. "I didn't know what to say. I didn't have an answer." He says. This time, he takes a step towards me. We're so close now. "When I'm with you, I feel like I'm cheating on her. And when I'm with her, I feel like I'm cheating on you." He says. "I knew that I had to end it with one of you, and I had to stay with the one that I care more about." For a second, I think he's going to tell me that he's going to be with Alice, but when I see the look in his eyes, I know that he won't. He takes another step towards me, we're almost touching now. I looks at my lips and slowly inches his face towards me. His lips touch mine and its like an explosion. His lips are warm and they make mine feel all tingly. This feeling only remains for an instant because he pulls back. The look in his eyes tells me that he is scared to death of what I might do. I don't let him think this for long. I reach up behind his neck and pull him down to me. Our lips meet again and the explosion multiplies. This kiss has none of the hesitancy of the first and we open up to each other. His hands are on my back, pulling me into him. My hands are running through his hair, something I've wanted to do for a long time. Soon, we're both running out of oxygen and we pull away, still holding each other. "I've wanted to do that for so long." He tells me.  
  
"Me too." I reassure him. And I have. I've wanted this for so long, but I have to be sure he knows what he's getting into.  
  
"What?" he says, reading my thoughts again. He bends down and starts to nibble on my neck. It takes all my strength to get my question out.  
  
"Are you sure you know what you're getting into?" I say, he keeps nibbling. "There are so many risks." I tell him.  
  
He detaches himself from my neck long enough to look up at me. "I like risks." He says smiling, I know he's lying.  
  
"No you don't." I say.  
  
"True," he says smiling, "But I like you." I smile back at him.  
  
"I like you too." I say. I want to tell him how much I love him, but I think it's too soon for that. That can come later. I can feel myself getting lost in his eyes. Before I lose all control, I ask him, "Are we crazy?"  
  
He looks at me, sighs a little, and replies, "Probably," before leaning in to kiss me.  
  
In this moment, I am so filled with hope. Hope of love, of happiness, of an end to SD-6, of a normal life, with Vaughn. I feel like I can do anything when I'm with him. We're definitely crazy, but I think that craziness just might be the thing that gets us through this.  
  
A/N: Was that horrible??? I know it was sappy, but as I said in the beginning, I needed something good. Please review.good or bad. - Carrie 


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